Ok, maybe I will

What is this unforeseen force that is forcing me around with their jedi mind tricks? Or maybe it is just that I wanted to post a post thru the air for the first time. Yep, I'm typing on a laptop (and the wirelessnessism is flipped into the on position). And with that, I wonder, what is the big deal with having a badass computer? This is a 128mb ram, 500mhz, wandering wireless wonder and it works perfectly fine for me. Which bring up a thought...my first computer was a laptop...and typing poetry on it way late at night was how I learned how to type. But whatever.

I'm listening to "That Joke Isn't Funny Anymore" by The Smiths right now...and I like it. Just thinking that I think it is weird that I am in this time warp in which I'm into all of this mellow underground 80's music lately. What? Perhaps this goes along with the life I have been living recently. I haven't posted in a while (or what feels like a while) because I simply haven't had the urge...or the time really. It kind of freaks me out that I feel like I have no time and I'm only taking one class. What if I were taking more?? (The real question that is nagging my head at this juncture is whether or not I'm an idiot...but I don't really feel like getting into that right now, I'd rather ignore my ignorance)

I feel like I'm in the clouds right now. I stopped by Greenspoint Mall today for some Brother's Pizza. These NIN lyrics came to my head while I was there: I hurt myself today to see if I still feel. Those are cheesy lyrics, but still...why was I there? Because as sucky as ABX was, I miss some of my friends there. I wanted to feel it again, I wanted see where I was today in comparison to where I was when I worked at ABX. I wanted to see if I have moved on, if I have learned anything from the last few years. As I was getting back into my car, I felt a slight bit of depression from the things that were around me back then. As I fought to stay above and see the good in where I was now, I grabbed onto a "now" that was hardly recognizable. "Now" is like some strange parallel universe...memories from my past jumbled up and thrown at me in some strange mixture. Like mixing up PBJ in a bowl and trying hard to taste different flavors uniquely. Memories of this last summer...or even things a few months ago seem so far away.

This experience of a parallel "now" hasn't been a bad thing. In fact, it seems good so far. It's kind of like getting a chance to set past mistakes right. The one and only example I'll give here is my re-attempt at UH. The first time I tried was in '98. It was a bust, I checked out without even seeing what my grades were. I'm back now and I will score nothing less that an A in my only class. Being on the campus is weird, what was I thinking about the first time I was there??