Epitaph v23.0

More new awakenings...Power in weakness??? WTF? A barrage of calls...from credit cards to my newly found buddies. ...and the funniest thing is, i hate talking on the phone. (tho, the credit card guys aren't much for joking around).

Anyways, what's the epitaph of the week? Again, power in weakness. Err. That seriously doesn't seem right. Ummm...I am feeling depressed, I'm feeling panicked, please help me. And then, I let go of the pride...for pride is just another of the many reasons why I have a hard time...from time to time. I want control, I want people to come to me for advice, I want them to think, "Michael, ahhh, he is a rock for which I can lean!" But I am not. I cry often. To admit defeat is extremely humiliating...and in the humiliation, I find a smooth plane. A smooth plane, because i should not be humiliated for admitting to myself who I am...a smooth plane because from this point there is no excessive decoration, nothing to hide the plainness for which I am. But I say plainness as if it is negative. From this nothingness, I can start fresh, create a new monument to who I am. So, it really isn't power in weakness...it is more like power in honesty. Perhaps, I am fooling myself again...but as of now, this brutal honesty feels a lot like freedom.