3 days to the bend

Here we go, things are starting to get slightly depressing here. Strangely enough. Apparently I feel like things are going to change tremendously and the change is not as welcomed as I once thought. I'd have to think long and hard about my true feelings as to why I'm not happier about this upcoming release. My friend is about to get married.

Freedom to do what I wish is in the cards. No more questioning my intentions, no more questioning my actions. I say do your best with the things you are supposed to do and things will be ok...and if they aren't, then you are prepared to the best of your ability to take on any distracting incidents. I haven't Always said this, it just made sense about a year and half ago. I saw that to get to where I would like (and to stay away from verbal bitch slaps from my ex) this statement kept me on course.

VERBAL BITCH SLAPS? That seems weak...it is hard to stick up for yourself when you know you are procrastinating. Then I look like an ass when I actually try.

So, now, what is it that I see? There is no longer a net below me, I'm allowed to go f'up my life if I would like, without ever hearing about it...there will be no further accountability. Funny, I already miss it.

But you know, some part of it will live on. Kinda like how I still sometimes write poetry with a certain someone else in mind. THERE ARE STANDARDS TO UPHOLD! I think sometimes I'm funny, how I protect memories.