Liberation

I went to a concert tonight, I hate saying concert because it was such a small concert, I want to say gig. But it seems like a gig is not the right word either, gig seems better used for a personal performance. Anyways, I went to the concert tonight all by my lonesome, and some things occured to me.

I am a selfish jerk AND I worry too much about the people around me.

I was able to get a beer when I wanted one, I was able to move around the venue when I wanted, all I had to do was make sure that I was ok. If I had taken someone with me, I would have surely not enjoyed the show. I would have spent the entire evening wondering if they were having fun. I had fun and when I wasn't, then it was ok...I knew I could leave if I wanted.

Anyways...

a possible lyric of sorts that was repeating in my head: looking for answers, avoiding the cancers, i like doing this and I don't like that, finding a purpose to flush out the crap, and happiness can be in my hand or right around the corner, but the pain always finds itself a way back. Where is this crack that finds my peace to attack. This old hurt has hurt much too long, this old hurt is wrong no matter how right it's supposed to be, and I'll point my finger to the lack in someone's honesty.

Err, it sounded better in my head.