You're the best!
Perhaps I have been too hard on Myspace.com. Tonight, I have found some long lost loves. When I say long...I mean long. I'm talking, late elementary school - middle school stuff. I'm talking 20 years ago...and it's funny, I still remember their not so easy names very easily. Apparently young love is something you don't get over quickly.
Should I even try to explain myself?
Yea, I moved a lot when I was a kid...and this particular stint in Houston is the longest ever in one spot. Almost long enough now, that it seems like a bad dream that we moved so much when I was a kid. It was something like every 2 years. 1st, I was shy and quiet, couple that with a-hole kids from California (ever see Karate Kid?) and POOF! you have crushes that you never forget. For the hell of it, I looked up the 3rd crush I ever had (the ultimate crush of crushes) on myspace.com. And...there she was...I could even recognize her. It was way cool...dude. Wow, man, I used to like this girl so much...haha! I suffered some embarrassing moments in front of her, classmates finding out that I liked her, then asking her if she liked me in front of her. But ultimately, she was still cool to me...and that is why I think I didn't forget her (and her amazingly hard last name to spell).
I decided that to see if I could find the first girl I ever danced with (other than Mom). Over the years, I wondered if perhaps the name I had in my head was incorrect. She was Asian but the last name that stuck in my head all this time was a decidedly non-Asian last name. Of course, I never thought of that when I was a kid. I kind of like the story that goes along with this one. I had my first crush on this skinny kind of nerdy (complete with headgear) girl...I remember thinking I didn't know what to do with this prepubescent attraction, except be overly nice to her to the point where it was very awkward. I remember playing this game and I saw an opportunity to help her out, so I yelled out, "I'm doing this only for your sake!" It was something I remember hearing my parents say to each other so it felt natural. Then, the end of the year came...and the 5th graders had a dance to celebrate their "graduation". I didn't want to go because I...well, because of the same reason I still don't like going much. But, I ended up going because...well, almost for the same reason I still go. I went to see if I could dance with Crush #1 (sorry, can't remember her name). Little did I know that my friend liked Crush #1 as well, and when the dance started, he had the nuts to go up and ask her. I was crushed! No, not really, just slightly disappointed in myself (and so it began...). Anyways, my buddy came back to me and asked me if I would dance with this Crush #1's friend. All I remember is being so nervous, my hands sweating very bad, and wondering if it bothered her that my hands were sweating so bad. There were other thoughts like: "this is not the way my Mom taught me how to dance", "I have to remember this song because I think it is noteworthy because it is the first song I have ever danced to with a girl", and "she's nice". I think I also remember dancing to an LL Cool J song.
So why did she stick in my head for so long?? I think there are a few reasons for that.
1. I got home and Mom was so excited to hear if I got to dance or not. When I told her I did, she told me how important it was and how I would never forget that first song.
2. As nervous as I was on the dance floor, there was something calming about it.
3. I remember this one scene totally separate from that dance. Our class was on our way back from some field trip and I was sitting at the back of the bus with this girl and one of my other friends. I don't remember much from that ride back but that she was so nice to me and I was happy. See, maybe it's the way little kids are, but while I was growing up (mostly in California), all my friends were real asses to me. I got picked on a lot. Being a kid was kind of hard for me. Boohoo. Anyways, just trying to set up the situation in a more dramatic way so it is comparable to way I perceive it in my memory.
4. When I moved back to the same place in California, all the other people in this story were still there (in fact, Crush #1 and my friend that asked her to dance were still "going out"), but Crush #1's friend was gone. It seems like I tried a couple of times to find her, but all attempts failed (and this is also when I first started wondering if I was crazy for looking up an Asian girl with a non-Asian last name).
So? I wasn't wrong with the last name.
Parting thoughts:
It was good to see both of them.
Credit Tamlyn Tomita and Christianne for all my strange leanings.
You're the best, around, and nothing's ever going to keep you down.
Should I even try to explain myself?
Yea, I moved a lot when I was a kid...and this particular stint in Houston is the longest ever in one spot. Almost long enough now, that it seems like a bad dream that we moved so much when I was a kid. It was something like every 2 years. 1st, I was shy and quiet, couple that with a-hole kids from California (ever see Karate Kid?) and POOF! you have crushes that you never forget. For the hell of it, I looked up the 3rd crush I ever had (the ultimate crush of crushes) on myspace.com. And...there she was...I could even recognize her. It was way cool...dude. Wow, man, I used to like this girl so much...haha! I suffered some embarrassing moments in front of her, classmates finding out that I liked her, then asking her if she liked me in front of her. But ultimately, she was still cool to me...and that is why I think I didn't forget her (and her amazingly hard last name to spell).
I decided that to see if I could find the first girl I ever danced with (other than Mom). Over the years, I wondered if perhaps the name I had in my head was incorrect. She was Asian but the last name that stuck in my head all this time was a decidedly non-Asian last name. Of course, I never thought of that when I was a kid. I kind of like the story that goes along with this one. I had my first crush on this skinny kind of nerdy (complete with headgear) girl...I remember thinking I didn't know what to do with this prepubescent attraction, except be overly nice to her to the point where it was very awkward. I remember playing this game and I saw an opportunity to help her out, so I yelled out, "I'm doing this only for your sake!" It was something I remember hearing my parents say to each other so it felt natural. Then, the end of the year came...and the 5th graders had a dance to celebrate their "graduation". I didn't want to go because I...well, because of the same reason I still don't like going much. But, I ended up going because...well, almost for the same reason I still go. I went to see if I could dance with Crush #1 (sorry, can't remember her name). Little did I know that my friend liked Crush #1 as well, and when the dance started, he had the nuts to go up and ask her. I was crushed! No, not really, just slightly disappointed in myself (and so it began...). Anyways, my buddy came back to me and asked me if I would dance with this Crush #1's friend. All I remember is being so nervous, my hands sweating very bad, and wondering if it bothered her that my hands were sweating so bad. There were other thoughts like: "this is not the way my Mom taught me how to dance", "I have to remember this song because I think it is noteworthy because it is the first song I have ever danced to with a girl", and "she's nice". I think I also remember dancing to an LL Cool J song.
So why did she stick in my head for so long?? I think there are a few reasons for that.
1. I got home and Mom was so excited to hear if I got to dance or not. When I told her I did, she told me how important it was and how I would never forget that first song.
2. As nervous as I was on the dance floor, there was something calming about it.
3. I remember this one scene totally separate from that dance. Our class was on our way back from some field trip and I was sitting at the back of the bus with this girl and one of my other friends. I don't remember much from that ride back but that she was so nice to me and I was happy. See, maybe it's the way little kids are, but while I was growing up (mostly in California), all my friends were real asses to me. I got picked on a lot. Being a kid was kind of hard for me. Boohoo. Anyways, just trying to set up the situation in a more dramatic way so it is comparable to way I perceive it in my memory.
4. When I moved back to the same place in California, all the other people in this story were still there (in fact, Crush #1 and my friend that asked her to dance were still "going out"), but Crush #1's friend was gone. It seems like I tried a couple of times to find her, but all attempts failed (and this is also when I first started wondering if I was crazy for looking up an Asian girl with a non-Asian last name).
So? I wasn't wrong with the last name.
Parting thoughts:
It was good to see both of them.
Credit Tamlyn Tomita and Christianne for all my strange leanings.
You're the best, around, and nothing's ever going to keep you down.
posted by Michael | 12:09 AM
22 Comments:
Amazingly long post. We should do this again sometime. LOL
Reading about your first crush makes me think of mine, his name was Omar. It's kind of a sad yet funny story. Don't want to get into details but it includes a guy who lived next door to me, me being mistaken for a boy cuz of my hair cut and ending with Sean and Omar becoming my first friends ever (this all happened in the first grade). Awww.. everything you said reminds me of my old stories!!! Thx for the stir of memories.
(if you dont know who i am too bad, but you do ;p )
awww...you should tell us your sad story. I'm interested in hearing it...partly so I don't feel like such a dork for looking those girls up in the first place. The rest just because I'm enjoying all this (super-retro) reminiscing.
Okay, my first crush was no Omar. BUT, since we're all sharing, my first crush was my best friend, Justin, in first grade.
At that stage in life, boys were popular are school for their athletic ability, and boy could he run ;)
We used to have sleepovers all the time; Of course, sex is something first graders don't talk nor know about, but what I did want from Justin was to kiss him and be married to him one day.
This is really sappy/gay, but I can recall driving down 610 south with my dad, on our way to Galveston, looking up at the stars outside the window and listening to love songs on Sunny 99.1's Love Songs. That Zoe Bonet, what a riot.
Anyways, Michael Bolton....other crappy song-meisters of love, and me and my thoughts of Justin + Brandon, happily ever after.
Wow.
I find it interesting that we remember so much stuff like this. I really wonder why? Any takers to this question? I have my theories...but...
My first crushes name was something like Kylie, but she came around in the 5th grade. Before that, I liked certain girls, but all I wanted to do was be around them. I thought it was pretentious to want to kiss/hold hands/hug or anything of the sort at such an early age. I remember hearing stories from this guy about him kissing this girl in 3rd grade. I felt like I was being left behind, but I also thought that he probably had a bloated sense of maturity (with the way he bragged about it)...which I then credited to immaturity. Funny how little kids can have thoughts like this.
Anyways, anyone else have any crush stories?
LOL.. I'm cracking up hearing all this. Okay, you wanna hear my story michael, its really sad, lol!!! okay, this is gonna be long... As i said before my first crush was Omar, it was at Ponderosa Elementary, they stuck me in ELS because they thought since i just came from another country i wouldnt know english (they were wrong)... anyways, so Sean and Omar were the only other muslim kids in my class. And both of them lived in my neighborhood, they made me go to esl most of the class periods, we had like 4 and i went there like 3 times.. except for math. So... i didnt befriend anyone like right away cuz i wasnt there enough. lol.. this is sad, now its funny, but at recess i always used to play on the tire swing and than these three girls always came... and tried to play with me but i just walked away, i guess i didnt like them or something. One of the times that the girls came up to me Sean was with them, and he spoke to me in urdu, thinking that i didnt know english or something. And i just looked at him (gosh, i know this in too much details).. so he assured me that i would have fun, and i did. I met Omar though Sean, because they were best friends. Soon after, like in days, it was the three of us always playing. We were really good friends, but i saw Sean more of a friend and Omar as more of a "boy". So that was my first crush, the sad part about it came up just a few yrs ago. I moved when i was in about the third grade, but Sean and Omar stayed right, so anyways... about three yrs ago i went to the annual fall carnival that Ponderosa holds (i hadnt visited that place since the third grade, it seemed a lot smaller)so i was standing in like for something, i dont remember what, and there i was turned around looked towards the back of the line and someone taps me on the sholder and says, "misbah?". So i turn around and im like WHOA.. its sean and omar. And so we start talking about grade school (btw first thing they said was that they were surprised i was wearing a scarf), than all of a sudden Sean says, "Hey, you know we started talking to you because we thought you were a boy." and i was just in awe of this. "yeah, you had a really short hair cut and you always wore baggy cloths." i just stood there, smiling... yup.
So the first boy i ever liked thought i was a boy and thats why he played with me, how fun is that. (told you it was going to be long) :)
~you know who...
Oh, my God!
You guys are amazing me.
First, I was so surprised that Michael's crushes were at the 5th. Then Brandon was amazing me by his first at the first grade.
What a difference! Very interesting!
Maybe we remember these things because they are the stuff dreams are made of; I mean, everyone has dreams.
Hmmm...interesting thought Brandon. I was cracking up when I first read it, but hey, maybe you are on to something.
Crystal, would you like to share?
Oh yea, thanks for story Misbah. And to think, this whole time I thought you were a boy too. =) Great story.
One, Misbah needs a sex change, and two, Brandon's gay, ha, ...looking up at the stars?? Lets all say it together... TMI!
Sitting here, it took me a minute before I could figure out my first crush. In the first few years my parents moved a lot so it was hard on me as far as, will I see this people next year?
Any who, my first crush was this guy named Brendan. In elementary thinking our friends thought we were "perfect" you know, because of the alphabet... Dawson, Dockery... We'd always be placed beside one another because of the roll. It was heaven. A few months before he got to Milsap I'd been the new kid in school, and a few months later he was the new kid in school, so people knew who we were. The teachers all thought he was cute for the same reason that I did. One, who names thier kid Brendan? Two, he was amazingly quiet. Three, he had the softest sandy hair out of any black person I'd ever seen. And, four, his smile was like pure riches.
To this day I can still remember when the crush took full effect and this staring thing started up. I'd finish my work in no time, so I could get the girls at my table to move around so I could stare at him and then I'd look over my shoulder to see that he was staring at me too. I didn't have boobies then so I know the whole thing was legit. My friends used to give me so much crap about liking him. I swear the playground became this big game of telephone! After a while it became too hard to walk from class to class, to lunch and recess was the worst because I'd always be looking for him and he'd always be staring at me. I figure the crush finally bit the dust when he finally got the nerve to approach me on the swing set and asked me if I wanted to be pushed on the swing, but I said no. And then he asked me if I wanted to play kickball (my favorite "sport"), but I said no... I was lying right through my teeth, and couldn't help not doing it.
*sigh* It was never to be spoken of again.
Ha, and just as you think that I've disappointed you all about my shyness(?), Brendan went on to break hearts as a cheater and ventured out into the world of mall-security-guardness.
Thanks for telling everyone who didn know who i was who i am, butthead ;p. and HA HA HA.. *evil look*... loser :P
~i dont like you!!!
My story?
Humm…it’d be longer and sadder than Misblah’s.
Mine was my male classmate’s friend in the 9th grade. He was the cutest one in my school; that’s why he’d caught my attention since he came to my class in the second semester. :)
My school had a beach picnic trip for all the 9th grade graduate students. We were on the same bus, and he sat at the row in front of me and across from the aisle, trying talking to and teasing me. I was shy and barely spoke out, just smiling back whatever he and his friends did to make us fun. Then we were getting closer when we got to the beach and had lunch together. In that night, we got a camp-fire on the beach, and he was next to me, playing with the sand and chitchatting. Then our teachers had us go up to our motel rooms by on the coast. I was like: “Come on, let us here. Give us some more time.” :)
At that midnight, he, my classmate and other friends played the “ghost game” scaring other girls, and we laughed so hard. In the early morning around 5:30A.M, they knocked our door: “Wake up! Wake up! Go and watch the sun. It’s beautiful out here.” I and other girls ran out and enjoyed a beautiful sunrise. It was my first ever seen a sun going up. We also visited to some other places around there. We had such a good time and good memories together.
I thought I could never see him again. Then I was so surprised as I saw him in the beginning day of our high school; all his friends including my classmate going to a school for rich, high-income students; his family was rich. I was happy seeing him again. I liked him and wanted to get close to him, but I was a real home girl, very shy, and he was such a player. He was too popular in the girls of my school, and I assumed that he might have not liked me. We talked and played together sometimes tho. Then I saw him smoking once, and I didn’t like it. After that I gradually less talked to him even I still liked him a lot. I didn’t know why I pretended that I did even want to talk to him. Eventually, we stopped talking together . However, I was watching him during my high school. I got worried about him when I knew that he was getting worse in school and started using drug. I wanted to be his friend to encourage and help him out. But I didn’t have that chance because we were in too different worlds, and I was too shy to let him know that I liked him and wanted him to be better. Then he dropped out of school early. One day I saw him in my neighbor’s house; my neighbor was his brother’s friend. I thought he might have felt embarrassing because he daren't look straight to me and avoided my look. I was shocked, “Is that him? How come he looks so bad? Did he infect HIV?” I was going to talk to him, but he was gone fast. I got some news that his close friends, who were in the same middle school with me: 1 died of HIV, 1 killed himself when he knew he infected HIV, 2 others were struggling with addition, and my classmate quit it thanks to his girlfriend encouraging. Thus I was worried about him and felt so sorry for him. But I did nothing for him because I didn’t have chance to be his friend in just one day like I really wanted to be. Since that day, I’ve never seen him again. Now I really don’t know he's still alive, healthy or not.
Later I got few other crushes, but he was still in my mind. I would never forget his adorable baby face when he was in good health and his emaciated, gaunt face at the last time I saw him. I still feel sad and so sorry for him. That’s all about my first crush. It’s sad and long, isn’t it? Thank you for reading this.
Ya know when Michael asked me to share my story. I didn’t know where I could start. Then all the memories of my innocent adolescent came back to me on my way home from work. It was such a good feeling.
Waking up our memories sometimes is good and helps, right?
Thank you, Michael.
By the way,Misbah, we knew who you were by your post: " there I was turned around looked towards the back of the line and someone taps me on the sholder and says, Misbah?" :)
Also, he was so wrong to think that you were a boy. Now you're a pretty girl, and he lost his chance.:)
Wow, some good stuff here.
K-Dox...how do you know what happened to Brendan?
Crystal...You didn't have any crushes earlier than the 9th grade?
humm...I think...in the 8th grade. actually, I was crushed by my classmate and I liked it. I didnt like him tho.:) He was in the beach trip, too.
you got something interesting you to do,huh?I mean this topic. I did too.
LOL!!! yeah, i was just joking about the whole not knowing thing. LOL!! and thank you for saying im pretty (even though i dont think i'v ever met you before so i guess it doesnt really count ;)). And... I'm in highschool now so i know people that have gone a down hill also, maybe not the same but they got into drugs, drinking and anything else you can think of. Its sad to think that at one point you knew them so well and at the next you dont know if you've ever even met them before. I'd sad, im sorry about you're frind in high school. I hope he is alive and healthy, thanks for sharing your story, really makes me think :).
~you know who...
You're right. Adolescents easily get lost; adults do too. Michael is an example; he once smoked ,and he thought smoking was cool. Right, Michael? LoL
You should count it even though you dont know me and think that I've never seen you before; you're still a pretty girl.
A pretty heart, inner beauty, is most important, and you have one. So count it, girl!:)
***I hear about Brendan every now and again because I haven't moved :) That kinda helps, right? I keep in touch with or see high school people randomly, so gossip is as gossip does.
Ohh, Misbah locked herself outta the office on Sunday. I was coming in from Austin and luckily for her I was only 20 minutes away *eh hem* Michael wasn't answering his phone...
---------KDocs
Uh, I left for practice at 3:30...and left my phone at home accidentally. I finally got home at 9.
I DIDNT DO IT ON PURPOSE!!! if i knew i was going to lock myself out i would have grabbed the key. I feel like such an idiot, HAPPY NOW?!?!?! :p... and why was this brought up in the first place, huh... ken!?!?!
~so i locked myself out, so what?
Kinda off topic here, but you are such a nerd Misbah. Besides, I'm sure we've all done something similar. Chillax.
Actually, Misbah... I locked myself out about a month ago, but luckily for me Dean showed up extra early that day ^_^ And, if memory serves me correctly, I've helped Michael out before too... All I've gotta do now is help Brandon!
KDocs
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