Goodnight

cracking and so close to trying,
when truths seem so close to lying,
i got caught in a crossfire again,
quietly coming so close to dying.

to ask what it is that one admires,
what it is that lights one's fires,
why did you ask that I ask,
screeching concrete meeting burning tires.

beg or be competant i'm begging to ask,
or take another swig from a half empty flask,
and all I want is some more sleep,
a sunny day mask or a cushioned coffin cask-
it.

Settler's Way

Tonight, I visited Settler's Way. I have not seen this school in 20 years. It was good to see it...

What day is this?

For the first time in 6 years, I did not play the song that is named after today's date. I don't really plan to in the next few minutes either.

Very few people know what June 23rd is about...the easiest and fastest explanation is that I got to see Pearl Jam on this date 7 years ago (sitting in the 13th row). AND this is very true. Though the song catalogues some of the events between June 22-24, 1998, the song has grown so much more beyond this.

I wrote the song on the 23rd of June, 1999. One year to the date of the PJ concert in a small RV resort in the upper North East corner of Oklahoma. I remember sitting on the top bunker in the RV, dropping the lyrics to an "Ants Marching" inspired pattern of chords. It turned out to be a pretty easy song to write and play...The first song I wrote that hasn't been discarded somewhere along the way. It had staying power, maybe because I wanted it to be important so badly.

The song really became something I worked around. It inspired me. It pushed me to keep playing music. "June 23rd" was one of those steps in life that turn out to shape much of who a person is.

"23rd" represents the positive things I have done in my life. When I look and feel like I've done so little, once a year, I really get to appreciate how much I have done.

Montagues and Capulets

What does NYC, Puerto Rico, and Spider Man 2 all have in common? I'm not going to pretend like I know the answer...I'll guess tho. The first thing that comes to mind is definitely the West Side Story. Anyone who has seen the WSS and Spider Man knows that they both take place in NYC.

I'm not sure what I'm looking for here. My Maria? Brooks and Dunn?

Why is it that I used to hate New York City so much? 3 reasons...The first being that the Rangers have scored so little against the Yankees in the playoffs I want to throw up. The second being that the Yankees buy their talent. Sure Jeter is a real Yankee and the one I love to hate the most, but where would that team be without the rest of the former-some-other-team's-all-stars? Even Jeter has to be somewhat ashamed of the fact that his teamates show no loyalty to the teams they came from...I'll take my loser softball team any day (but I gotta admit, I'm no Jeter). The third reason being that my ex-girlfriend loves the Yanks...and I could never get her to see why she shouldn't love the Yanks so much, especially since she was from Denver. When she said that NYC was a great town, I just went ahead and channeled all my dislike for the modern day Yanks to the city as well.

Later in life, I visited NYC...because frankly, I couldn't remember why I disliked the city so much. NYC surprised me. It was great and beautiful. So many memories for such a short amount of time...I wonder if everyone feels this way?

Today, I'm going to Puerto Rico. It is my first trip outside of Texas and Oklahoma (and Arkansas) in such a long time, I feel like I'm going to be sad if I miss any part of it. Somehow, maybe it's not that, maybe I feel like I'm going to miss something else. (My last real traveling was to New York City)

"When your a Jet, your a Jet all the way, from your first cigarette to your last daying day." "Cause I'm leaving on a jet plane, I don't know when I'll be back again
Oh, babe, I hate to go"

I was just watching Spidey 2, and the theme song has been driving me crazy for a long time...thinking, I know this melody, but it is not complete and it reminds me so much of something else. Cue West Side music - One Hand, One Heart. What a ripoff! I thought about Maria singing it while she was on the courts.

Then we can go on...I've had an unusually large amount of conversation regarding marching bands recently (some would say a marching band isn't the same as a drum corp, they are right). Way back in 93, we didn't make the finals mainly because we sounded shitty while we played One Hand, One Heart.

Wish I was here

Updates?

1. I haven't worked on my music for a while...the longer I don't work on it, the more I just want to be happy with what I've already done.

2. I'm missing summer sessions of school due to the fact that I have no money...maybe that is just a lame excuse.

3. I'm about to go to Puerto Rico. Yea, I was refusing to go (look at #2), but my friend bought me my plane ticket...

4. Tori Amos.

5. The Astros are warming up.

6. Wanna see my latest website? Yep, it is still only a jpg...

7. Wanna see the webpage I threw together for my softball team? Here. Man we suck, it is cool tho, but I feel like I'm spinning my wheels now.

8. You know something's wrong, when a dave matthew's song, reminds me of a no-diggity zong.

9. Keep pressing on...