Stats

I love stats. Over the last 28 years of my life, I have tried to keep a small list of questions that I would like to ask God. I'm sure there are several questions that I will never remember by the time I die and some that I will no longer care to ask. It's funny how I picture it happening, I figure that I won't really be asking God these questions, but someone of some importance, like the Secretary of Stats. But, I probably wouldn't ask that person either, I would probably ask one of the hundreds of workers in the building. The setting would be rather stereotypical...you know, everything is white and there is a thin layer fog drifting on the floor. I would walk up to a guy in a white suit, sitting behind a white desk and he would have a thick white book sitting on the desk. I would walk up to him (or her) and ask my question.

How many hours did I sit looking at the computer screen?
How many hours did I listen to music?
How many of those hours did I listen to Bjork?
How many riffs are similar to the opening strings of "nothing else matters?"
How many times did I almost run into ex-girlfriends?
How many career opportunities did I miss because I was just lazy?
And a billion other worthless questions...

He would then flip to a page somewhere in the middle of the book, and give me the answers...maybe even show me some charts.

Somehow though, I don't think Heaven keeps stats.